When I had depression, I had similar symptoms like you. I had same deep pit in the morning and unable to sleep at night.
I tried exercise, read Feeling Good book, took different vitamins etc. None of this really helped.
What finally worked was giving into my depression. I would come back from work, listen to sad songs, cry like a child, pray, and drink until I passed out. Within a few days, I would wake up without pit in my stomach. Hangover was another story. Within a couple of weeks, I was not depressed. Depression turned into anxiety. And anxiety was a lot easier to deal with than depression.
Once depression was mostly gone, then I was able to use CBT methods to deal with my anxiety.
It is really hard for people who never experienced depression to understand what it feels like. It is worse than hell. I am sorry you are going through it. Just take one day at a time.
I don't know if I've ever been clinically depressed. I've never been diagnosed, but I've never seen a therapist or talked to a doctor about it either.
I have defintely had periods of unexplained very low motivation and lethargy. I've done the "listen to music and get really drunk alone" thing a few times. It did seem to help, though I didn't do it with that intent. It kind of slapped me in the face with a "you are pathetic, get over it" message that really sunk in. It has been a few years since I have done that.
I also started exercising (weightlifting) about 2 years ago, which is something I never did before. I have tried other exercising (biking, running, swimming, etc.) but none of it ever stuck. Weightlifting did for some reason. Barbells, not machines. Squat, bench press, deadlift. Read or watch some videos from Mark Rippetoe "Starting Strength." I can't say I enjoy doing it, but for some reason I have kept at it and I do like the effect on my body. I'm 55 and have the best muscle tone I've ever had in my life.
I also take a regular multivitamin every day, along with moderate additional C, D, and Zinc. I don't get headaches anymore and I hardly ever even get a cold. I don't eat fast food or drink soda, I eat mostly chicken, steak, and salad and drink water, coffee, or tea.
I had been, not long ago, through a crippling depression that I fought by myself. Initially, it crippled me to the point of not being able to get up from bed and start my day (I spent the whole weekend on bed, feeling terribly sad, regretful and helpless. I only get up for biological needs).
After 5 or 6 months of suffering, I decided, at some certain point, that I need to do something about it and that I need to get over it and not waste my life. I started small, step by step, waking up, taking shower, going out for a walk, etc. I used to WFH, but I reversed the habit and started to go to work place everyday.
Then, I got a gym membership and started exercising almost everyday (after so many years of physical inactivity. I am 25 BTW). I started cooking and eating healthy. I take multivitamins everyday with an additional dose of Vitamine D and Magnesium. I eat only vegetables (lots of them), rice, chicken and fish and sometimes beef steaks. I also take fruits everyday (usually Oranges, Bananas and Apples). I also drink Coffee (one cup in the morning and sometimes another in the evening) and Tea with Ginger.
I feel much better. Now, I have a routine, I am more active and I get some work done. However, I still suffer from a slight lack of motivation and happiness. I still feel a bit unhappy and I am not as motivated as I was before the whole depression thing hit me. I don't know why and I have no idea how to solve this part to become the super motivated, super focused and super productive person I used to be.
I didn't get formal diagnosis either. At the time, I really didn't know what was wrong with me. It was later in life when I realized what had happened.
The thing with depression is that one is unable to properly think. Nothing really matters. So suggestions like go for a walk or eat healthy are really hard to put in practice.
I used to run 5K almost daily when depression hit me. It was induced by trauma. Initially, I kept going out to run, though my pace was slower and I didn't run as far. Like how they say about going broke; slowly first and then suddenly, that's how my depression progressed.
Also you reminded me about weekends. I did same thing, spend whole weekends in bed, avoided any social contact. Just drank, ate, prayed, listened to music, and cried out loud. I tried playing video games and watch movies but they could not hold my interest. Stopped running. If friends invited me, I made excuses. Luckily for me, it lasted only a few weeks.
I don't think it was any of healthy suggestions here that helped me. I already had some healthy habits like running and eating right. Maybe if I had gone to doctor, it would have helped me faster.
Just like how it started, that's how it ended. First, I started a to feel a little bit better and then suddenly I was not depressed at all. Then I had really bad case of anxiety, which I still suffer from a bit but CBT methods really helps me here. I am back to running, working out, taking vitamins etc. And feel great now.
I tried exercise, read Feeling Good book, took different vitamins etc. None of this really helped.
What finally worked was giving into my depression. I would come back from work, listen to sad songs, cry like a child, pray, and drink until I passed out. Within a few days, I would wake up without pit in my stomach. Hangover was another story. Within a couple of weeks, I was not depressed. Depression turned into anxiety. And anxiety was a lot easier to deal with than depression.
Once depression was mostly gone, then I was able to use CBT methods to deal with my anxiety.
It is really hard for people who never experienced depression to understand what it feels like. It is worse than hell. I am sorry you are going through it. Just take one day at a time.