Is it the end-user telling the dynamic linker loader to load the .so, or is it the program you distributed to them?
> If I'm an end-user and ... isn't it the case that the GPL forbids me from doing so unless I also ...
No, it doesn't. You can do anything you want if you're the end-user. It's only when you distribute to others (outside your organisation) that the GPL kicks in.
Is it the end-user telling the dynamic linker loader to load the .so, or is it the program you distributed to them?
> If I'm an end-user and ... isn't it the case that the GPL forbids me from doing so unless I also ...
No, it doesn't. You can do anything you want if you're the end-user. It's only when you distribute to others (outside your organisation) that the GPL kicks in.