could be avoided with a more strongly community lead process
Would that have yielded something better? I would argue that it would have yielded nothing.
Though nonetheless I am a bit confused by your comparison of the two. WebSockets are not "another way of doing HTTP". SPDY is. They are separate solutions for different problems.
SPDY and WebSocket both have protocol negotiation and framing but they are implemented differently. That's why Microsoft's S+M proposal essentially recasts SPDY on top of WebSocket so they can share the negotiation and framing code.
Despite being entirely different beasts from a design perspective, they solve essentially the same problem: bidirectional communication designed to minimize latency over a single established TCP connection, with protocol-internal notions of channels and framing.
I love the anecdote (and loathe working with that stereotype), but don't think it applies here. We're not exactly drawing a box labelled "DATA", one labelled "SERVER", and drawing a line between them: these protocols are significant, incompatible implementations that do almost the same thing internally, and interact equally as badly with the remainder of the stack externally. To say the similarity is only superficial seems inaccurate.
It's a bit like redesigning a car from scratch just because you need snow chains for certain roads, and upholstery covers for certain passengers.
This "architecture astronaut" phrase. I don't think it means what you think it means.
The two descriptions you make below describe much more essentially than superficially or "astronautically", the same kind of thing, optimized for slightly different use cases (not even THAT different).
It would have yielded the same thing as W3C's decade long stagnation during the development of XHTML: everyone gets bored and they set up WhatWG instead.
Would that have yielded something better? I would argue that it would have yielded nothing.
Though nonetheless I am a bit confused by your comparison of the two. WebSockets are not "another way of doing HTTP". SPDY is. They are separate solutions for different problems.